I Just Met a Girl Named Maria

Women from Argentina have played a special role in American politics over the last 35 years...and it hasn't been to enhance U.S. - Latin American economic aid packages!

Maria Chapur, the mistress to South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, is the not the first steamy, hot-blooded Latin to snooker an American politician. And so far, she has not been able to topple him from power which was also the case in 1974.

Back in October of that year, Fanne Foxe (real name Annabelle Battistella) came close to toppling U.S. Congressman Wilbur Mills from his powerful perch as chairman of the House Ways and Means committee. Mills was a veteran Democrat from Arkansas. Back then, the Democrats still ruled in the South and virtually all committee chairmanships in both the Senate and the House were held by wily, Southern good ol' boys most of whom loved mash whiskey, a good cigar and a nice piece of ass on the side.

At about 2 a.m. one morning in October of '74, Wilbur was driving Ms Foxe around down near the Jefferson Memorial. The fetching Fanne was a stripper who did a fair amount of disrobing back then in the nation's capitol. She had been known to cavort with Mills for some time. Problem was he was drunk that morning and hadn't bothered to turn on his headlights. The cops stopped him near the Jefferson Memorial. When they did, Fanne, in a panic, leapt out of the car. Obviously a bit shit-faced herself, she quickly surmised that she could escape by jumping into the Tidal Basin which flanks the Memorial. I guess she thought she could swim to the other side and emerge somewhere near the Lincoln Memorial. One of the cops jumped in after her and dragged her out of the water. She and Wilbur were hauled off to the slammer and the next day the entire country knew about Wilbur and Ms. Foxe who was dubbed "the Argentine Firecracker."

Back in the 1970s, no one talked about "family values" and the religious beliefs of public officials were pretty private. For Mills this was good because a month later, his constituents were not fazed by his early a.m. pursuit of nookie and reelected him to yet another term by roughly 60 percent of the vote. He served until 1976, retired and died in the early 1990s. Ms. Foxe continued to take her clothes off, later wrote a book about her affair with Wilbur and recognizing an opportunity when it presents itself, dropped the firecracker reference and anointed herself "the Tidal Basin Bombshell." Today, she is living back in Argentina.

Which brings us back to Ms. Chapur. In fairness, she is NOT a stripper. In fact, not all that much is known about her and how and where she and the Governor met is still vague. However, rumors are running amok that she is not the first babe our family values, bible-banging, jesus-loving governor has had. A Detroit-based blog claims to have evidence and names and that Sanford previously was schtupping at least two other women prior to Maria. It appears that when it comes to banging on the side, he likes both "the poon and the tang."

Republicans who, for the most part, screamed for Bill Clinton's scalp when it was proven that Monica Lewinsky gave him a hummer in the White House, have not been as vocal when it comes to punishment for Sanford. One noted exception is Ron Christie, a long-time GOP spokesperson and unwavering apologist for both Bush and Cheney (he worked for both during the past administration) who on yesterday's Ed Show on MSNBC called for Sanford to immediately resign and for the governor to repay what appears to be state money totaling roughly $8,000 used so he could go "cry for five days" in Buenos Aires. Christie said he was personally outraged.

Compare Christie's response to that of Fat Ass Rush Limbaugh. If you haven't heard his latest on the causes of Sanford's philandering, I swear I am not making this up. As you read it, you have to be struck by the very strong possibility that Limbaugh has to spend an enormous amount of time carefully creating and crafting this insane bullshit. I cannot imagine that he actually believes a majority of the stuff he spouts. This from a posting a few days ago on chattahbox.com:

According to Conservative radio talk show host and all around bombastic pontificator, Rush Limbaugh, Governor Mark Sanford went off the deep end this past week, disappearing for six days, cheating on his wife and jetting to Argentina to be in the arms of his mistress, because President Obama’s economic policies crushed his spirit. Got that? Although Republicans gamely attempt to blame President Obama and the Democrats for most of the nation’s woes, this latest example falls in a category all its own. Besides the economy, the unemployment rate and the violence in Iran, Republicans can now use Limbaugh’s new Meme to blame Obama for Republicans who cheat on their wives and other indiscretions, especially erratic behavior that “defies logic.” What an ingenious concept! Now Republican politicians can attend all night orgies with hookers or fire up a blunt in the halls of Congress and say: “Obama’s stimulus made me do it.” During Thursday’s radio show, Limbaugh spoke about Gov. Mark Sanford’s recent behavior as defying logic and this led Limbaugh to seriously surmise, that Sanford’s spirit must have been crushed from Obama’s economic policies. “All this hope and change…Obama is trying to kill spirit,” said Limbaugh. “People are saying screw it before Obama takes away their money…their houses.” Limbaugh didn’t stop his inane analogies there. Oh no, there is more. “This is almost like, I don’t give a damn, the country’s going to Hell in a handbasket, I just want out of here, Limbaugh said. “[Sanford] had just tried to fight the stimulus money coming to South Carolina. He didn’t want any part of it; he lost the battle. He said, what the hell. I mean, the federal government’s taking over…what the hell, I want to enjoy life.” “The point is, there are a lot of people whose spirit is just…they’re fed up, saying, To hell with it, I don’t even want to fight this anymore, I just want to get away from it,” said Limbaugh. Limbaugh went on to reiterate his statements, blaming Obama for Sanford cheating on his wife saying, “The Democrats are destroying the country, we can’t do anything to stop it.” So, let’s recap. Because of President Obama’s economic policies implemented to prevent the complete collapse of our economy, mostly due to eight years of damaging Republican policies under the Bush administration, Republicans like Gov. Sanford are saying to themselves, “To hell with it,” “I just want to get away…” “What the hell, I want to enjoy life.” According to Limbaugh’s reasoning, Gov. Sanford then cheated on his wife, abandoned his four children and his constituents, despondent, muttering under his breath “…I don’t even want to fight this anymore…” “To hell with it,” and then in a Zombie-like state boarded a plane to Argentina to be in the loving arms of his South American “exotic” mistress.
And all of this behavior can be attributed to Democrats ruining the country and Obama’s economic stimulus. Limbaugh is a genius! It’s Obama’s fault. The stimulus made me do it!