OKLAHOMA OK? PART I

Two months ago, probably 95 percent of Americans could not have correctly answered "who is Tom Coburn?"

Today, that number is probably 90 to 92 percent. Remember, we are asking folks to identify a United States Senator. These are everyday American citizens, roughly a third of whom couldn't find the U.S. on an outline map.

The hypothetical drop from the mid to low-nineties no doubt stems from the recent attention Coburn has garnered in which he has a) been involved in trying to both end, as well as cover up, the sexual affair by fellow Republican Senator John Ensign; and b) made an insensitive comment to Judge Sonia Sotomayor during the judiciary committee hearings on her Supreme Court nomination.

A little background is in order. Coburn is an Oklahoma physician from Muskogee who was first elected to the U.S. House of Representatives in 1994, served three terms, stepped down, resurfaced and then was elected the Sooner State's junior U.S. Senator in 2004. The senior senator is James Mountain Inhofe. Coburn and Inhofe combined have an intelligence capacity that maybe hits three figures. Certainly the two of them are leading the parade of fruitcakes who make up the ultra-right wing of the Republican Party. Today's post is a look at Coburn. The next will be a look at Inhofe.

Let's begin by considering Coburn's role as a medical doctor. I thought Bill Frisk, the GOP senator from Tennessee was the dumbest schmuck to ever be licensed to practice medicine. Remember back in the Terri Schivo days when he said looking at footage of her on TV had pretty much convinced him she still was functional? He also once said he didn't know if HIV could be transmitted through sweat!

When Coburn first came to the Senate there was a full court press by the Republicans who then controlled both houses of Congress and the Bush II Administration, to dramatically restrict class action, mass torts lawsuits. Needing some kind of "expert testimony" to support their arguments, Coburn was asked to give his medical opinion on one example of medical procedures where the so-called evidence countered the argument in favor of the lawsuits. He selected the issue of breast implants and said "there's no science that shows that silicone breast implants are detrimental and in fact, they make you healthier."

Tom Terrific apparently missed the part over 10 years earlier where silicone breast implants were banned in this country because of their history of rupturing and spilling toxic fluids into women’s bodies.

A few years ago, there was overwhelming bipartisan support to ease unfair restrictions on credit card holders and the bill was headed to the President's desk for signing. At the last minute, Coburn tried to attach an amendment which would allow people to carry concealed weapons into National Parks.

I always thought that the role of the doctor was to tend to the sick and injured, promote health and generally protect the living. Coburn sees it differently and in fact has called for the execution of persons associated with performing abortions.

The range of his absurdity is very broad. He has complained that girls’ bathrooms in Oklahoma are bastions of lesbianism. How and why Oklahoma ladies rooms are afflicted with this problem is unclear.

Coburn is the epitome of homophobia and has railed, screamed and voted against every measure on gay rights, funding for HIV/AIDS and even condom distribution and use.

He once said, at a Republican political meeting according to the online magazine Salon.com, that “the gay community has infiltrated the very centers of power in every area across this country, and they wield extreme power. [The gay] agenda is the greatest threat to our freedom that we face today.”

He's probably right. Thanks to his bathroom warning, lesbians have been flocking in droves to Oklahoma.

Coburn and his staff once hosted an event in Washington for young aides and pages to preach about the evils of sex with multiple partners highlighted with a slide show illustrating genital infections from various STDs.

He also opposes a national recognition of environmental pioneer Rachel Carson's birthday and raised hell when the film classic "Schindler's List" was to be aired on television because it had scenes of "frontal nudity." Those damn Nazis. Why didn't they have the decency to let those people keep their clothes on when convincing them they were just taking a shower instead of being herded into gas chambers?

Coburn's most recent example of outlandish behavior came last week when in response to a comment made by Sonia Sotomayor on the Second Amendment, Coburn said she would have "some 'splainning' to do" a famous line uttered by Desi Arnez, the late Cuban musician and actor in the "I Love Lucy" television series. Anybody over 35 knew Coburn's intent was to mock Sotomayor's Hispanic heritage.

But his best move in all this time has been both his cover up and advocate bribery in the John Ensign matter. Coburn knew about Ensign's sexual fling for well over a year, yet worked hard to help keep it a secret. After all, Ensign is not only a fellow Republican, but also another born-againer and lives with Coburn in that strange world of the Family, the C Street boys in Washington who pray (and "lay") together.

It was Coburn who came up with the idea of Ensign's super rich father paying nearly $100 thousand to the mistress and her husband to keep them quiet.

In the end, Coburn may be lacking any real seniority in the Senate and is still Oklahoma's junior senator. What he is not lacking is a pattern of very frightening behavior and positions on the issues which are a threat to every American if it ever becomes policy or law.

Coburn is the perfect physician to "heal thyself."