I am routinely reminded as to why as a species we have not advanced further than we have. Some scientists say we only use, on average, as little as 10 percent of our intellectual capabilities. When I, and others, wonder why we can't do more to cure diseases, live in balance and harmony and help raise the less fortunate masses up to a higher level, I need only look at the following.
In the last couple of weeks, large numbers of people have claimed either to have seen, or have taken away from their valuable time to go see, animate objects inside inanimate objects.
The one that is no surprise is the Virgin Mary. The other is Michael Jackson.
Now the Virgin Mary sighting is nothing new. For centuries she has managed to show up in the most outrageous places at least in the minds of backward, superstitious, uneducated morons.
This time it is a tree stump in Ireland.
Less than a week ago, a story appeared on the wires which had run in the Courier-Mail and was written by Charles Miranda stating, "it may look like a tree stump to some but for others it is a vision of the Blessed Virgin Mary who appeared in a churchyard in Ireland after a willow tree was chopped down.
"The rural Irish village of Rathkeale in County Limerick is being inundated by hundreds of worshippers after workmen claimed the image of the Virgin Mary appeared in the remains of a felled tree in the Holy Mary Parish churchyard.
"Noel White, Rathkeale Community Council Graveyard Committee chairman, said workmen sprucing up the church land saw the image when they cut the tree.
"One of the lads said ‘look, our Blessed Lady in the tree,’ " Mr. White said yesterday.
"One of the other lads looked over and actually knelt down and blessed himself, he got such a shock. It was the perfect shape of the figure of Our Lady holding the baby."
The article went on to state how people from all over...up to 700 at one count...had converged on the site, light candles next to the stump and draped rosary beads over it.
A local priest refused to get caught up in the hype saying "I have seen the tree ... it's only a tree," he said.
The Irish Catholic Church has also called for calm and said it treated the phenomena with skepticism.
"While we do not wish in any way to detract from devotion to Our Lady, we would also wish to avoid anything which might lead to superstition,'' a spokesman said.
Two thoughts here: first, given Ireland's recent history with sexual and physical abuse of children I am surprised a priest would even have time to comment publicly about anything, given that his attention would most likely be focused elsewhere. Second, the church saying it wished "to avoid anything, which might lead to superstition" is remarkably banal: the whole thing, all of this stuff, is steeped in superstition. That's how the church manages to survive.
Apparently, the last time the country was plagued by massive joblessness in the 1980s there were numerous reported sightings of moving statues of the Blessed Virgin Mary.
One of the most infamous was in Ballinspittle in County Cork, where locals insisted they witnessed the statue of Our Lady floating in the air! Floating in the air?
The claims drew worldwide attention as busloads flocked to see the roadside grotto.
Such psychotic-induced sightings were not confined to the Emerald Isle. Let's drop in to the San Francisco area for another example of why as a species we are only a few steps removed from the savannahs of Africa several million years ago.
"Dude Sees Image of Michael Jackson in a Tree Stump" said the headline in a story on the Net written by Robert Paul Reyes. Reyes is a NewsBlaze writer on Politics, Pop Culture and Pointless Pontificating.
"People have claimed to see the image of Jesus in everything from a Cheeto to a piece of toast. Now a California man says a knot in a tree stump resembles the image of Michael Jackson," Reyes Wrote
Reyes talked to Felix Garcia of Stockton, who said he first noticed the image last Thursday while working in his yard.
Word spread and then crowds of people who were earlier were no doubt busy drooling, dragging their knuckles and stumbling around like adenoidal louts, started to gather near the home to get a glimpse of the image.
"Michael Jackson impacted our lives more than Jesus or any of the saints, it's understandable that folks with a spiritual bent would see visions of the King of Pop," Garcia was quoted as saying.
“Garcia claims to have noticed the image of Michael Jackson while working in his yard. But he probably said to himself "that tree stump sure looks like the King of Pop", while trying to decide which bills he could skip paying this month," Reyes added sarcastically.
"Let me go out on a limb, and predict that the Michael Jackson tree stump will soon be up for action on eBay.
"Folks will soon claim to see the image of Jackson on everything from a Doritos chip to a rotten banana."
The Jackson image story made me think back to the old Monty Python series that the BBC used to air on PBS here in the States. There was a hilarious skit called the Lumberjack Song. I think the title, at least for now, should be the "Lumberjacko Song." The original lyrics also seem to fit given Jackson's persona in recent years.
I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay
I sleep all night and I work all day
I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavat'ry
On Wednesdays I go shopping
And have buttered scones with tea
I cut down trees, I skip and jump
I love to press wild flow'rs
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars
I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspendies and a bra
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papa
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